- Entry 4, 18:37
10 Days ago I turned 28. I'd feel young as hell if it wasn't for my 9 year old soon to be 10 making me feel a lot older. I spent my birthday with him most of the day and of course worked as the border line workaholic that I am it was only right. My birthday week has always been the roughest week of the year for me and I always reflect on my entire life this week. I never questioned why and just always muscled through and overcame all obstacles that come during my birthday week. But this year my mind went back to the beginning. When I was baby boy in the womb. Follow me down memory lane & keep in mind that my mind is a cluttered unorganized attic yet I know where everything is.
29 Years ago I was born with my umbilical cord around my neck. And according to my mother it was also the roughest week of her pregnancy with me. She always blamed it on my big head. I always blamed it on her being thin and tell her she owes me for giving her hips and a booty. But that's neither here nor there. If you've read any of my bios before you know my mother was and is a songstress and a very talented one at that. Yet my desire to get into music came from my artistic father whom I am named after. He is a jack of all trades when it comes to art and I learned all I could growing up from him including the bouts of poetry & classical music. So as you can see creativity derives from both sides of my bloodline. And if that wasn't enough I was born left-handed and if you don't know what they say about left-handed people know this. Obama, Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, Jimi Hendrix, & I all have something in common.
I never questioned who I am and what I'm meant to do on this earth. But I have delayed my purpose and highest potential because being a perfectionist and having no one you trust to derail you from a path of destruction creates a being who begins to think they are invincible after overcoming things they didn't need to go through in the first place. But I am invincible. When I was 8 years old living in Kingstree, SC I starved myself because I was missing my mother and my pops made sure I didn't die. He fed me similac and in fact said to me everyday "You shall live, & Not die!". I remember those words to this day and it's why suicide has never been a thought since. At 12 years old after my mother semi-figured out some balance within her life between living with sickle cell and having a livelihood she came back for me and my brother. My sister had already been with her for some years now. Reluctantly moving to Marietta, GA the pursuit of being the greatest rapper in the game began.
I went to philly with my cousin for the summer when I was 11. Me and my cousin where born there, but raised elsewhere. We chose to identify with northern & Philadelphia culture. So of course Cassidy was(is) my favorite rapper. Later when I begin to actually rap I emulated everything he did and learned how to have punch lines and metaphors from one of the greatest & not only that but I heard him say once that remaining independent was the best route. I also heard this from artist like Jagged Edge & TLC in interviews about how their careers went south and they wish they had went independent as well. This stuck with me. I am now with my mother who I came to find out wasn't just a songstress, but a resource of knowledge and access to the Atlanta music scene. Though I didn't realize it at the time this is where I gained the desire for business by watching my mother whom had sickle cell hustle her way legally through the streets of Atlanta. Mentally at 13 years old. I am prepared to do any & everything or so I thought.
My first song I ever recorded was with my brother, my friend Niyah & her brother at the home studio of Donald-E. Honestly the only thing I remember about that song is that we thought it was the greatest song ever. Oh and it was a christian song because I mentioned my mother was a minister right? YUP! Both of my parents are, but my mom was and still is one of those 7 days a week tarry service going ministers. So my moral complex & spiritual influence is all from her & I don't regret any of the experiences.
Homelessness became a recurring part of my life story. My mother received SSI for years as a result of having sickle cell and my dad sent support, but none of it was enough to raise 3 kids the way she wanted. But it wasn't always us. I learned the definition of tyrant from having some homeowners that for whatever reason unknown to us kids didn't want my mother in their home anymore. Or even more bizarre things happened like our apt in East Point, GA being condemned. I remember this apt so well because it was the year Obama was elected as the 44th POTUS & we lived in apt 44. It also was the year that I begin taking artistry serious and into my own hands. And I drug my baby brother along with me. We went to a school called Tri-Cities & their I met Ledarrius. He went by Lyric and at the time I went by Young Flame. Everyday we would go home and write a verse then bring it back the next day and see who wrote the best one. So of course when I was thinking of group names for me and my brother I got my boy opinion. Untamed Rascals & Majestic Bohemians is what I narrowed it down too before we settled on Majestic Bohemians. I am 17 years old now & it's 2008 & I felt like I just figured out a full blueprint at this point. I did & a formula. So why did nothing come of it? I got older and begin to understand why and my mother though I loved her to death was always the cornerstone of any success or failures I had up until this point. But I never pass blame for how my life turns out.
It took some years, but I eventually liberated myself and this entire time I was dragging my brother along, but without me noticing at all that relationship was fading as well into the darkness. And eventually in 2015 we had a talk and agreed to just go our separate ways. I went through many people to find a line of trust & in 2017 after feeling like I'd never find it in GA I moved to FL. I have pretty much shelved my independent career since Majestic Bohemians split & dropping music here and there just to show the internet I still exist. The single I am releasing tonight is the real beginning of my solo career for me. It symbolizes so many things that I can't even express. The cover art alone is a 10 year message to myself I didn't know I'd be making, but is beyond needed. I am breaking the silence because I finally am mentally liberated as much as physically free and I no longer blame myself for all that happened in my life, but see and understand that they are circumstances equivalent to a virus that my life fought off & got rid of. And just as you can't blame a computer for a virus I shall not blame myself, but the creator of the virus. Silence is my coming out song. I am a King, I am royalty, I am a father, I am Nile Flame.
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THIS IS THE CRAZIEST IDEA I'VE EVER HAD!
Between me and you, I am dead ass serious about not telling anyone you know who I am. Thanks to y'all I've been getting great feedback from the new song. About the beat(not produced by 