We are Tiger Team Eleven, and we are very good. We have lots of very dedicated fans, who love our music 'cause we're good and have a very original sound that sounds like a mix between heavy riffs and drums and vocals and bass and synth. We're actually so original that we're part of a new genre that's so new and underground that we're the leading authorities on it and the only currently accepted practitioners of it. It's called Blue Cloud Hardcore and it's turning heads wherever it goes. We make lots of money from things like shows and things. Like I'm talking $1,100 a month. Each. A week. We sometimes have lots of parties, with lots of hot girls and ladies and women and sex. And alcohol and drugs and heroin and pot and cocaine. Cause we're very good and cool and our music is so original. We are also very good at gender-bending, which is part of what makes us SO original and cool and hot and appealing and popular, cause girls are hot and even girls think girls are hot so by looking like girls not only do girls think we're hot but so do guys, which expands our looks-based fan base by at least a factor of two. We also like to get WAY wasted, so that we all black out and wake up in different locations with different clothes, and as different people. One time I woke up as a woman I had intercourse with the night before. I don't know who she woke up as. We do this because we're very cool and good at music and instrument playing and because memory is for sissies. Real men don't remember anything, and then talk about how cool it is that they don't remember what they did the past two weeks and then high five and then touch wieners. Like wiener to wiener. And then wrestle naked cause that's what they did back in the day; back when men could be men and didn't have to apologize for it. I'm sorry I don't care about your feelings, and that I don't like wearing pants, and no, I don't want to hear how your day was. I just want to build things, hunt deer, work on automobiles and inflict pain on myself or others. And I'm going to punch you in the face if you disagree, because men settle all their battles with fisticuffs and enraged man-screams. But don't get too intimidated, we still have a soft side. That's where we bring in our slow jams and clean tones and acoustics and lyrics about heart ache and break and ladies we once cared for, but who through a series of misunderstandings, broke up with us and now we are sad. Like Bret Michaels.

But seriously, we like to have fun. We'd even like to consider ourselves one of the gayest local bands around. We like you.
Let's be friends.